The Power of Setting Boundaries, In and Out of dance.
We often find ourselves in situations where we feel the need to go above and beyond to help and support others, but at what cost? More often than not, we forget to take care of ourselves in the process. It's important to recognize the value of setting boundaries for our own well-being.
In this monthly reflection post, we'll share our experiences with boundaries and some ways we implement them into KINAJ. This is about dance, and not about dance.
Implementing Boundaries in KINAJ
It's important to note that setting boundaries is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Your boundaries should reflect your personal values, needs, and goals. Here are some things that have helped us get started with implementing boundaries in KINAJ:
Understanding Why Boundaries Are Important
Identifying Our Values and Goals
Communicating Effectively
Learning to say "No"
Evaluate Our relationships
You're First
Why Setting Boundaries is Important
Setting Boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy and balanced life. It helps us to prioritize our needs and values, and to communicate them effectively to others. When we set boundaries, we empower ourselves to make choices that align with our goals, values, and beliefs. Boundaries give us the freedom to say no to things that do not serve our best interests and to nourish our mental, emotional, and physical health.
Without boundaries, we risk burnout, stress, and even physical health issues. When we consistently prioritize others over ourselves, we may begin to feel undervalued, resentful, and unappreciated. This can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.
NOTE: it's important to recognize that this post is not a substitute for professional help. If you're struggling with mental health issues or have experienced trauma, seeking support from a licensed professional is necessary. Setting boundaries can be an essential part of our healing journey, but it is important to work with a professional to navigate you through your unique circumstances.
Identifying Our Values and Goals
In KINAJ it was important to identify our personal and collective values and goals. We shared these things with each other to guide us to what we need to prioritize how and where to allocate our time and energy.
For example: we learned that as much as we enjoy our work in KINAJ we value personal time away from dance and creating, a lot more than we thought. Bringing this to our awareness made us realize that we needed to let go of things that were not allowing us to do this.
Communicating Effectively
In KINAJ, we are constantly learning how to properly communicate with each other, it is no simple task. We are learning the importance of effectively communicating with one another, to be clear and direct when communicating our boundaries with one another. We use "I" statements when expressing how we feel instead of "you" statements to avoid blaming or criticizing each other.
For example:
Let's say AJ *cough, cough* hasn't been cleaning up after himself in the kitchen and its been bothering me.
Using a "you" statement: "You never clean up the sink, and it's really frustrating. Do you not care?"
Using an "I" statement: "I've been feeling overwhelmed recently with how dirty the kitchen sink has been and I need some help. Can we talk about setting up a cleaning responsibility that works for the both of us?"
The second example "I" statement focuses on how I feel and what I need. Actually trying this out has led to a more productive conversation where I can work collectively to find a solution with AJ.
Learning to Say "No"
Seems easy, but sometimes it can be a challenge for us. We are practicing and learning to respectfully decline an invitation or request if they don't align with our current values or goals - even with each other. Saying "no" can be difficult for some, but it's important to prioritize our own well-being above KINAJ.
Evaluating Our Relationships
Surrounding ourselves with people who respect our boundaries and support our goals has been such a nourishing ch
You're First
Learning to make time for activities to nourish our minds, body, and souls is a priority. This could be from personal exercise, yoga, reading, or spending time with our loved ones. For example, AJ loves to go for runs, while I like to do yoga. We both do them separately most of the time.
"If you don't put yourself first, you are teaching yourself you come second." - Mel Robbins
So How Do You Set Boundaries?
At KINAJ, we value and continuously practice setting boundaries in our personal and professional lives. We believe that taking care of ourselves first allows us to better serve others if needed. This means making choices that align with our values and goals and communicating them effectively to our clients and collaborators.
For example: I may choose to stay home and cook a meal instead of attending a AJs dance class, or decline a job offer that does not align with my value. By setting boundaries, I feel empowered to make choices that prioritize my well-being and align with my goals.
Thank you for taking the time to read the post about KINAJ setting boundaries. If you enjoyed this, be sure to subscribe to our mailing list, and share and follow our YouTube and Instagram for more dance-related content. Let us know in the comments below how you set boundaries.
- Kin